Another Put-In-Bay Tale

It's been quite a while since I've posted, even though I meant to do so right after the annual Memorial Day trip to PIB.

The nephew and the friend (whose name I will not use here, for reasons which will become obvious) were my guests for a fun filled weekend on the island, their reward for cleaning and waxing my boat in April. The usual ground rules applied: be careful, if you run out of money you can drink on the boat, and I do not bring bail money, so stay out of trouble.

We hit the Roundhouse around 2 o'clock in the afternoon, just in time to see Mike "Mad Dog" Adams do his routine. Funny as usual, although Mad Dog could spruce up his act a little. I heard some of the same jokes last year.

After a few hours of Mad Dog, I told the boys that I was going to the boat to take a nap. I'm old enough and wise enough to know that I can't hang from 2 o'clock in the afternoon until the late hours. So I crashed for about an hour, then headed back to the bars.

We met up at Mr. Ed's, and it turns out an old friend of mine from Bellevue is running the joint. He was kind enough to send a few free beers my way, for which I was grateful (especially with Bud Light costing $4.50 a can), but it pretty much ruined me for the night. I went back to the boat around 10:00 or 10:30, popped open a can of beer, and reflected.

About a half hour later, the nephew hopped on the boat. "Uncle Sam, #$@%% just got thrown in jail!"

This was interesting news, although not totally unexpected.

I replied, "I hope he has bail money, because I told you guys I wasn't going to bail you out of jail."

"He doesn't need bail money, Uncle Sam, they're going to let him out when the bars close."

And so it went. He came back to the boat around 2 o'clock in the morning, and to this day I don't know what he did to get thrown in jail.

The next morning, after breakfast, I walked to the cop shop with the boys to see if there was something I could do to help. Would it be OK for him to sign a waiver and pay the fine so he wouldn't have to come back for a court appearance? No, he had to come back Thursday. In the end, it cost him a $200 fine, plus the cost of the ferry ride, and the rest is history.

I hope they'll still help me out next spring, so I can take them to Put-In-Bay for Memorial Day weekend, and I hope they are a little older and wiser, and they remember to bring bail money.

The Masters, The Tribe, The Nigerian

THE MASTERS

Can you believe that shot of Tiger's on number 16 on Sunday? Just before he took his shot, I commented to a friend that I had seen David Duvall at about the same spot in 2001 (having had the great fortune of actually having badges for the Sunday round at Augusta, one of the highlights of my life), and as I recall, he bogeyed the hole, letting Tiger slip back into the tournament. That was on the day Tiger won the "Tiger Slam," and I half expected Tiger to bogey the hole this year to give DiMarco a chance at the Green Jacket. After all, he hit his 8-iron well over the green, and mere mortals would be lucky to extract a par from the position Tiger was in. Heavy rough, severely sloping green, the whole bit...but I also noted that I had seen Tiger make a very similar shot on number 14 at the Memorial Tournament a few years ago. Number 14 at Muirfield Village plays very much like number 16 at Augusta, and let's face it, you can't NOT expect Tiger to come up with the clutch shot.

THE TRIBE

I was able to go to the Cleveland Indians' home opener on Monday, and although the Tribe lost the game 2 to 1, it was a great game, and a great day for baseball. Well, it might have been a bit nippy -- it was about 72 degrees and sunny in Columbus on Monday, but Jacobs Field is only about a mile from Lake Erie, whose temperatures probably are still in the 40's, following the long cold winter we just went through. So it was 48 degrees in Cleveland, very windy, and it was hard to believe that 120 miles would make that much difference in the weather. Having grown up in these parts (a lot closer to Cleveland than to Columbus), I know the weather can be much different, but it still amazes me.

THE NIGERIAN

Well that Nigerian guy who got my bank account and routing number (see previous post) still hasn't made the deposit. (Mgoto - if you're reading this, please make the deposit!) I only have a few days of work left, then it's off to retirement, but if I don't get that cash in the next day or two, I'm going to start wondering about Mgoto's sincerity. Maybe the Nigerian authorities caught wind of our arrangement, in which case I'll have to make some contacts in Washington to see if we can prevent this from becoming an international incident.

Striking It Rich -- Finally!

I had an incredible bit of good luck this week, and on Monday I will let my boss know that I'm leaving the company to take an early retirement.

It all started with an e-mail. The gentleman who sent it, Mgoto Mumguboo, has access to $26 million. Due to some strange and unfair Nigerian banking law, he isn't able to withdraw the funds himself. That's where I come in.

All I had to do was send him my account and routing numbers from my checking account. All of the $26 million will be deposited into my account within 10 days, and all I have to send him in return is a paltry $3 million, which nets me the other $23 million. I can't wait!

March Madness

Don't you love/hate this time of year?

I'm in three NCAA pools, and in one I was virtually locked out by Thursday night, thanks in large part to Alabama.

In the second, I was also hosed after Thursday night, thanks to a whole lot of bad picks.

In the third, I was hanging in the middle of the pack after Thursday, and by Friday night I was the leader (results are updated online). I had a smooth 14 out of 16 on Friday, and I even picked Bucknell over Kansas in the first round, which gave me some extra points. I was perfect in the Albuquerque Region, and I was nearly so in the Syracuse Region, missing only one game in the first round.

By Sunday morning, I was tied for the lead, and had the most potential points remaining. All I needed was for UConn to win (my pick for national champion), and to pick up a couple of lesser games, and I would be in good shape. Among Georgia Tech, Mississippi State, and Southern Illinois, I figured if I got three of three, I'd be a virtual lock to win the pool, and even if I got only two, I'd have a pretty good chance.

Sunday. The Wisconsin and North Carolina games were the only ones I won all day, and I think everyone had NC. So I moved way down the list, and I have no chance of winning the third pool.

An entire weekend of roundball overdose, and all I have to show for it are three pool sheets that have more X's on them than a cross-stitched quilt.

I'm looking forward to baseball season, when my beloved Tribe takes the field on their way to the World Series.