Sunday, June 03, 2007

A Memorial Tournament To Remember

Dublin, Ohio is home to Muirfield Village Golf Club, "The Course That Jack Built." Each year, Jack Nicklaus hosts the Memorial Tournament, and each year my company sponsors a hospitality house. It helps that my boss lives right on the course, at the corner of the 14th green and the 15th tee.

This year, in addition to the hospitality, we held a fundraiser on Thursday for Congressman John Boehner, the Minority Leader of the US House. John is a great guy, but what made this event so memorable was that Jack Nicklaus himself stopped by to show his support. I shook his hand, and hoped that some of his legendary golfing skill would rub off on me (it didn't).

Then something else happened that made this a special tournament. I went out yesterday with my younger daughter and her boyfriend, but there was a weather delay when we arrived. So we went into the house and what did we see, but Sergio Garcia hanging around. He was coming up the 14th fairway when the delay was called, so he just walked right up to the backyard and came into the house. He stayed for about two hours. There were a bevy of college-aged girls at the house, which might explain why Sergio was in no hurry to leave.

Today is the last day of the tournament, and who knows, maybe Tiger will slice one into the back yard and we'll meet him too.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

The Day I Lost Respect For Authority

I was the first kid in my family to go to kindergarten. The first six kids went directly to the Catholic school for first grade, but I was five years old when someone decided that kids should start school at 5 years old instead of 6, so off I went to the public school.

All went well in kindergarten. To this day, I think I was the teacher's pet. I was the only kid who knew that a pound of coal weighs the same as a pound of feathers, and I was also the only kid to realize that Mrs. Friedt had a first name.

But that was kindergarten. Off I went again, this time to the Immaculate Conception School, where I served an eight year sentence. Well, the first four years were okay...I started out as a straight-A student, and when Father Bishop came in to read report cards, I was never worried about being embarrassed by my grades. But then came the fifth grade.

Sister Mary Karen was the teacher. We were in science class when one of the kids asked why it was warmer in the summer than in the winter. Sister Mary Karen explained that it was because the earth is closer to the sun in the summer than in the winter.

I knew better.

I raised my hand, and when she called on me, I explained that the sun is actually closer to the earth in the winter (in the northern hemisphere) than in summer, and that it was the tilt of the earth's axis that gives us more direct sunlight in the summer. She looked at me and said -- in so many words -- you are full of bullshit.

So, being the wise-guy, stubborn German kid that I was, I said, well how do you explain summer in the southern hemisphere? Is the sun closer to them in their summer, when it's winter here?

She didn't take too kindly to my way of explaining this, so I went home that night and pulled out a science book that explained all, complete with a drawing of the earth (relative to the sun) at different times of the year. I took the book to school the next day.

In science class the next day, I raised my hand and told Sister Mary Karen that I had a book that would answer the question that had been asked the day before. She looked at the drawings, read a bit of the text, and shook her head. "The book is wrong," she said.

I must have realized at that moment how Galileo and those poor kids who were raised in the USSR must have felt every day. Here was the truth, but my teacher ...MY TEACHER...denied it. I guess she was even more German and stubborn than me, but truth will eventually prevail, as those kids in the USSR found out. I don't think Galileo lived long enough to get his revenge.

That was the day I lost respect for authority. Might does not make right, and I learned that day that it was possible for me to know more than some people in authority. And I paid dearly for that lesson throughout the remainder of my sentence...I mean, the remaining three years of my education...at ICS.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

R.I.P.


Mike Newkirk
1955 - 2007

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Things That Astound Me (Part I)

1. People actually reply to those e-mails from Nigerian hucksters who have $28 million to give you. Were you born yesterday? Remind me not to leave my pets in your care.

2. Non-Fat Half & Half. If it's half cream and half milk, then it has fat. Do you know what makes cream so...well, creamy? It's the fat. That's why ice cream tastes so good and has that creamy texture. Half & Half was invented so that you could cut down (but not eliminate) the fat from the cream you put in your coffee. And if you want Half & Half in your coffee, but you want no fat, then you don't want Half & Half. You want black coffee.