Golf Truisms

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Always try to keep fewer than 300 swing thoughts in your mind while addressing the ball.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other swing faults.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time and a two-inch branch 90% of the time.

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 AM to mow the yard.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the round of your life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty-foot putt. For a 10.