Another one of those e-mails that has been around the world several hundred times...but it's still pretty funny.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. JUST SAY IT!
1. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. Men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Apricot is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
Credit: Andythomas.com 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
4 comments:
Ha! Ha! I hear myself in many of those responses. In this age of women's rights it's nice to hear a guy's voice rising above the parapets.
Either you must be a bachelor or your wife doesn't read your blog....
:)
Hi
just wondered how you were doing. Just found a blog of mine you commented on (RE gas etc) and I didnt reply. Sorry, very rude of me. ps you commented on natural gas, do you work for a gas company!
Re womens rights, where would we be without our partners. Married 39? years, my wife deserves a sainthood or whatever they're called. Hope you are well.
I liked this. I wish I'd known all these things years ago. I would add only one thing. Guys may not mind camping but they'd much rather be in bed with a woman. I have just read all your list to my daughter (she has just turned 18, so it's time) and added my last bit.
Thanks Sam.
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