A few miles south of Defiance, Ohio, on Route 111, is a barbecue place known as Scotty's. I had dinner there Monday night with some friends, and I was intrigued by one of the "signature" sandwiches: The Porkanopolis. This sandwich is composed of a half-pound sausage patty covered by a half pound of pulled pork, topped with a fried onion ring, into which is stuffed some cole slaw, over which is poured barbecue sauce, all of which is put into a large sesame seed bun. I had a side of curly fries to complete the meal.
I'm one of those people who tries to maintain a balanced diet. I'll drink several cups of coffee in the morning, but I'll also try to have a glass of fruit juice or some fresh fruit to go along with it. During the week, I usually have a salad for lunch, with more fresh fruit for dessert. The evenings are for pizza and beef and bacon (which goes well with EVERYTHING), but I don't go overboard with any of it. I subscribe to the Ben Franklin philosophy of well-being: all things in moderation.
After I ate this monstrosity, Scotty (the owner) came to our table and told us that he was working on an improved sandwich, which would include everything that is on the Porkanopolis, but would be supplemented with a half-pound ground beef patty, curly fries on top of the onion ring, and a dousing of cheese sauce before the slathering of barbecue sauce.
I think I'll pass on this one. The Porkanopolis was good, but I felt so bad about having eaten it, that the next morning I actually had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. I haven't had oatmeal for breakfast in probably 30 years. And if I eat any more Porkanopolis sandwiches, I'm not likely to be around in another 30 years.
5 comments:
The Porkanopolis reminds me of the first moon landing with a little American flag atop. After eating such a porky construction, I hope you went to confession on Sunday..."Forgive me father for I have sinned".
Good Lord! (comment after seeing photograph of the Porkanopolis)
And why did Scotty eat this monstrosity? (This is my way of telling you that you had a dangling participle in that sentence: "After eating this monstrosity, Scotty (the owner)...[etc.]"
This would be better: "After I ate this monstrosity, Scotty (the owner)...[etc.]"
Or this: "After eating this monstrosity, I noticed Scotty (the owner)...[etc.]"
A participle or participial phrase modifies the nearest noun or pronoun. So it is wrong to say "Running down the street, the building looked very tall." (And if "wrong" is too strong a word to use, it's at least confusing.)
Always remember this fun rule: When dangling, watch your participles.
Actually it is not your grammar I am concerned about but your stomach.
Sounds good, but not anything you want to eat more than once a year. We do need to eat in a healthy manner, so we're around a long time.
YP, I went to confession not for eating the Porkanopolis, but for dangling my participle! Thanks Rhymes, I know better.
mmmmmmm pork!
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