EMS/Speedpost Corporate Headquarters
8, Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way,
P.M.B. 022, Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria.
Tel: 01-4764431
Re: DELIVERY OF PACKAGE S.T.C ATM CARD:
Attn: Sir/Madam,
This is to inform you that one Mr. Gabriel Evans and Mr. Alan Mills stormed my office this afternoon via comprehensive email with copy of your DEATH CERTIFICATE and CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP attached, thereby notifying us that you are dead and that before your death, you appointed both of them as your Next-of-Kin to your outstanding sum of US$1.5 million uploaded on your ATM card presently under our custody and demanded that the ATM card should be release to them and ready to pay for the delivery cost. But when the debit note was submitted to my desk for approvals of Release Order to these men, I noticed some discrepancies as there was no evidence of authorization letter from you for the change of beneficiary.
I urgently stopped further movement of the release of the ATM card and at the same time placed a STOP ORDER instruction on the shipping of your ATM card whether delivery charges paid or not pending when your views and comments are received with regards to this matter.
Please get back to us immediately for your consent if you are still alive because we will not hesitate to continue the onward delivery of the ATM card in favour of the two gentleman if there is no response from you within the next 48 hours from now as your silence will be a clear indication that you are actually dead and have authorized the change of ownership in favour Mr. Gabriel Evans and Mr. Alan Mills.
Best Regards,
Mr. Samuel C. Ado.
International Shipping Manager.
Direct Cell-Phone: +234-8062324746.
I really do appreciate this guy looking out for me, and urgently stopping further movement of the release of the ATM card. And I really like how he signs off with "Best Regards" after telling me in the preceding paragraph that I am actually dead. And how does one storm another's office via comprehensive e-mail?
4 comments:
According to the consumer advocate Clark Howard on Atlanta radio, lots of scams originate in Nigeria. But they never stop trying.
Anyone who corresponds with these low lifes will not receive $1.5M US in their bank accounts; they will have all the money removed from their bank accounts.
But you knew that already.
Excuse me but why did you close this post with an intimate photograph of Paris Hilton - I don't understand!
Best Regards,
Yorkshire Pudding
P.S. When is your funeral and will you be buried by the lake at Wyndanwood?
Good morning girls!
A sucker by any other name is a sucker...and we haven't scheduled the funeral yet, we have to work around my travel schedule. I didn't know that scheduling my funeral could be so difficult!
So sorry to hear you have passed away, Sam.
Actually, it's a nice chance to hear / read your own obituaries. They usually say some really nice things.
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